Around The Bluhmin’ Town

By

Judy Bluhm

It’s been too hot! Have you been outside lately? The entire State is an inferno! This unrelenting heat has given new meaning to the term “hot flashes.”

Well by now we realize that in Phoenix gloves are essential just to touch the steering wheel in our vehicle after it has been parked outside. It is the place where flip flop sandals disintegrate and leave people stranded in the middle of a parking lot screaming for help, because one foot down on the pavement results in a trip to the emergency room! Oh yeah, Phoenix is burning up. Yikes, even Prescott has been reaching 100 degrees! If things aren’t bad enough, the electric companies are asking customers to turn up the thermostat to avoid a blackout! We are not listening!

One day I was outside at around four in the afternoon, and it occurred to me that I might spontaneously combust (my husband says that I shouldn’t worry about this). Obviously, I should worry about it! There is speculation that people have just gone poof, up in smoke, becoming an instant fireball! All that is left of them is a little pile of ashes. And that could be me.

Some folks say, “think cool and you will be cool,” but my mind is a like a runaway horse, galloping through Death Valley every time I step outside. I try to keep a positive attitude and start out pretty happy, until I have to do something that involves a few minutes of outdoor exposure. Hey, it’s so hot that doggies don’t want to go outside to potty!

My friend, Carol, claims she is managing the heat by tripling her hormone dosage. She thinks it will keep her body temperature at “reasonable levels.” Her husband is skeptical and said, “It might not keep her cool, but could put her in a better mood.”

One survival website claims that the best device for people living in hot climates is a small battery-operated fan, which comes in four speeds. The fan comes with a shoulder pack so you can aim it directly at your face while you are out walking. Which I might object to if it is blowing 100-degree air at me!

Okay, let’s face it, we live in a beautiful place, but we sure could use more rain (and cooler temperatures). And lately, folks heading out of town on I-17 to beat the heat experience a nightmare. Brush fires, accidents and slowdowns make it as much fun as sitting in a parking lot for several hours. People are feeling marooned, with nowhere to run.

One man emailed me to say his wife has refused to cook and turn on the oven until the temperatures cool off. She suggested that he fire up the barbeque, but he said he will not stand outside over a hot grill in sweltering heat. Maybe starvation is the new summer diet?

Trying to beat the heat? I like to hang a heavy sweater on a hook in my closet. It represents hope that I might be needing it soon. Dream big. A cool breeze might be heading our way. No fan required.

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. Contact Judy at [email protected]. Or visit www.aroundthebluhmintown.com.