Around the Bluhmin’ Town

By

Judy Bluhm

They’re back! Yikes! Millions of grasshoppers have been invading Arizona. I didn’t really believe it until I saw it for myself. Jiminy Cricket! Dear Readers, what I observed was so strange, so frightening, that it could be out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie!

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it is pretty scary when you drive into a gas station and see a carpet of grasshoppers on the ground. I witnessed a poor woman pumping gas while literally flicking them out of her hair. She had to run for shelter into her vehicle. I saw people scrambling out of the convenience store swatting the creepy insects. You could hear crunching sounds as people stepped on them. What is going on?

I contacted some entomologists who assured me that there is no chance that our State will experience anything like a devastating grasshopper infestation. True, they are out in large numbers and swarms, often drawn to lush landscaping, drip irrigation and watered lawns. With the combination of past monsoon rain and this month’s extreme heat wave, the conditions are perfect for grasshopper breeding. Consequently, the grasshoppers are having a field day (no pun intended).

They are generally harmless to humans. Unless like my friend who just drove her Lexus convertible through the drive-through to get a coffee, had several grasshoppers jump into her car. Suddenly they appeared on her coffee cup, the brim of her hat, the dashboard. Coffee spilling all over the leather seats while screaming bloody murder is not how you want to start out your day.

Who wants to go walking while these critters jump all around you and land in your hair? As a woman jogger said, she spun around in circles trying to “untangle” crickets from her ponytail and almost ran like a wild woman out into traffic. Yep, bugs can do that to people.

When I walk my dog, Teddy, he is very annoyed by the little beasts and tries to eat them if they get too close. Don’t do it, Teddy! My late husband, Doug, persuaded me to try a fried grasshopper while we were on vacation one time. Well, Doug was game for anything. He said they tasted like shrimp. No, Doug, they tasted like horrible crunchy insects! Yuck.

Sleep well, my friends. No locust infestation is predicted in Arizona, unlike in 1980, when a million acres were destroyed and there were 25 grasshoppers per square yard. Grasshoppers and crickets are cousins and can be pleasant and benign. Locust invasions are grasshoppers who have joined a ruthless gang and eat everything in their path.

There’s a whole lot of knee knocking, leg clanging, and body slamming going on when you get a few hundred grasshoppers together. They make quite a racket. The situation seems to be settling down. They only live for a brief time. It appears that these pests are leaving Arizona for greener pastures.

Isn’t there an alcoholic drink called the “Grasshopper?” This might be the fitting time to try it. If it’s any good (with no real bugs involved) and you have the recipe, drop me a line. I’ll hop right on it.

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. Contact Judy at [email protected] or at www.aroundthebluhmintown.com.