Around the Bluhmin’ Town

By

Judy Bluhm

How long will you live? Hmm, maybe you would prefer not to know. While there are many medical claims on how to prolong our lives, there also seems to be “predictions” on how to shave off a few minutes here or there by simply eating. Mischief or medicine? Can we rely on a health strategy that tells us eating one hot dog lopes off thirty-six minutes of our lifespan? Please say it’s not true.

I ate a hot dog. It was Memorial Day weekend, and I did it. No regrets. A recent study from the University of Michigan School of Public health ranked foods based on how many minutes you might gain or lose off your life by eating the “unhealthy” food. One blessed hot dog is robbing us of 35 minutes! That’s if you believe the research. How can a grilled wiener on a bun, with all the fixings, be so detrimental? Sure, no one would consider a hot dog “healthy,” but come on, why spoil a good old treat at a ballgame or barbeque?

Hey, Joey Chestnut, not sure how to break the news to you, but you are a dead man walking! Yes, Mr. Chestnut is the world record holder because he can eat 76 hot dogs in ten minutes! Should we accept the premise that competitive eating is a sport? If so, Joey Chestnut should be in the Olympics. This 41-year-old man is a true champion, with the annual competition usually held to a packed crowd in Coney Island at a baseball field. A celebrity eater?

Last contest, he was introduced by a major league baseball announcer, proclaiming to the cheering crowd, that “the roar of Chestnut’s assault will sunder the dome of heaven to reach the ear of God himself.” Hey Champ, those 76 hot dogs could take 45 hours off your life! Stop it. You might get to that “dome of heaven” sooner than you’d like.

Research also claims that one serving of chicken wings and a sugary beverage can wipe a minute or two off our lifespan. Why worry? A few enjoyable treats every now and then won’t kill us! We could start eating more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, because they have the effect of adding about 33 minutes onto our life. I am not good at math, but I do know how to use a calculator. So maybe the “formula” for longevity is knowing how to add and subtract minutes, based on what you eat. Have an urge for a hot dog on the grill? Go for it! Just be sure to back it up with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you are back in the “neutral” zone.

The research looked at 5,800 foods and ranked them by their “nutritional disease burden.” Eat fruit, vegetables, nuts, legumes and seafood and you can add about an hour a day to your lifespan. The best news is that one slice of apple pie can add one minute onto your life. Dear Readers, let’s get healthy, one delicious minute (slice) at a time.

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. Have a story or a comment? Contact Judy at [email protected]or visit www.aroundthebluhmintown.com.