Around the Bluhmin’ Town

By

Judy Bluhm

The egg. An ordinary diet staple, or a luxury product only to be enjoyed on “special occasions?” We are paying dearly for the little ovals of deliciousness. Yummy, good fried, scrambled, or hard-boiled, essential for baking, and the main ingredient in a breakfast casserole. What is toast without an egg?

Eggs, where art thou? Where will we find the joy that we get from cracking the little balls of wonder? So easy to eat, so lovely to taste, what horror is besetting us? A world without eggs?

If you have been to a grocery store lately, you will see the half- empty refrigerator shelves where eggs once sat. You might get lucky and be able to score a dozen, for about four or five bucks. Sadly, the bird flu caused millions of egg-laying chickens to be slaughtered. And now, all eggs are as scarce as hen’s teeth.

Shopping anxiety is evidently a “real deal’ for Americans as we try to navigate prices and low product inventory. One woman in Peoria broke down and wept in the supermarket when she saw the prices of items that were on her list. We feel your pain, but crying in the aisle doesn’t help! Well, we did get through the toilet paper debacle, so we can probably cope with the egg crisis.

Which came first – the chicken or the egg? Yikes, if we can’t find eggs, what’s next? Should we buy a separate freezer just so we can stock up on chicken? Might not be a bad idea. I would like to get a few live hens. But I don’t think my HOA would approve.

A couple who resides in a country club in Scottsdale did get a live chicken. Yep, their HOA dues are about $500 a month, yet the woman was so “distraught” over the price of eggs, she hid a chicken in a doghouse in her backyard. Until the neighbors complained when they heard clucking at all hours of the day. The husband claimed he didn’t know about the chicken, but did enjoy fresh eggs.

When I was a child, my family had twenty chickens. My job was to fetch the eggs every morning. It was fun, until I left their gate open a few times. My mother and grandmother would have to run around with brooms trying to herd the chickens back into the pen. It was comical watching the chaos of the hens flying the coop. I was seriously scolded for “upsetting” the chickens because they would retaliate by not laying eggs for a week.

Evidently, there are a whole bunch of “upset” chickens right now. And not enough of them. I tend to shy away from conspiracy theories, but I do have a neighbor who believes there is an “egg plot” of some sort which is undermining a food staple of Americana (doubtful). My doctor says we don’t need eggs because they are raising everyone’s cholesterol levels (oh please).

Want to swap? I have one whole (frozen) chicken that I will gladly trade for a dozen eggs. It could be egg-cellent.

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. Have a story or a comment? Contact Judy at