Around the Bluhmin’ Town

By

Judy Bluhm

How much do you weigh? Oh, I beg your pardon, I guess that it is none of my business. It seems people get a little prickly when asked their weight. Besides, it appears that most of us might fudge about it. Perhaps because we eat too much fudge? Yes, it seems weight is a “personal matter,” just like our age. Sometimes we just don’t like our numbers.

I recall getting ready to go on a helicopter ride in Sedona when Captain Wing-Walker asked each person their weight. Of the six passengers, three women claimed to be 125 pounds and three men all said, “maybe 180.” Our Captain looked at each of us and chuckled. Wait, was our pilot just laughing at us because we are liars? Yes, and I suppose he made his own calculations to make sure the whirly bird got off the ground.

The London Zoo is having their annual “weigh-in.” Every single animal, reptile, bird, and fish will be weighed. The spiders are weighed in little bowls. Sea otters like to flop on the scales. Elephants are weighed as they walk one-by-one through a scaled enclosure. It is a daunting task, that is serious work. The findings are published so other zoos can compare notes and the Veterinarians can better manage the feeding and exercise routines.

Animals at the zoo don’t seem to mind being weighed. Except for the parrots. This is the same group of parrots that were cursing so much (to the amusement of the viewing public) that the London zookeepers had to split them up. The birds were “acting badly” by saying naughty words. While being placed on scales, these parrots like to scream, “Go away. Keep your bloody hands off me,” (plus a few other choice words not fit for print). Well, at least the monkeys and sea otters seem to love getting weighed.

Korean Airlines has started weighing passengers. So, your bag is placed on the scale, and then you will be asked to “step on” so each flight can tally passenger weight so the plane does not exceed its safety standards. That won’t fly in America. A few other airlines are “considering” weighing folks. Just what we need, more meltdowns and fistfights at airports. The flying public will not go for being weighed in order to board a jumbo jet!

My girlfriend refused to get weighed when she went to the doctor for her annual check-up. She said she still fits into her clothes, so weight “doesn’t matter.” She was very offended when her doctor asked her if she was fitting into clothes that she had twenty years ago or the ones she bought last week. Okay, Dr. Wise-Guy, that was harsh.

As far as the weigh-in at the Zoo, there is something endearing about an otter sitting happily on a scale. Or a parrot screeching, “Go away.” Let’s hold that thought the next time we are asked our weight. After all, when it comes to some topics, we might need to lighten up.

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. You can contact her at [email protected] or at www.aroundthebluhmintown.com.